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| ok...i haven't been blogging here for the longest time... mainly because i switched to multiply... and multiply is cool but... something is wrong with my internet at home, i cant seem to access multiply, it always returns with a page error...
so life has been really really confusing lately... im still in Gods waiting room and now am prancing and pouncing already desperate for answers... frustrated that it's taking longer than i expected... i'm in a place of uncertainty in terms of my career, ministry, family and some personal stuff... if you think of it there are a dozen of impossibilities that i really can't perceive how it will come to pass or how it's going to work out... one moment i think this is the new direction, the next minute i find out its not... arrgh.. so frustrating... Lord.... Lord.... please give me answers...
this year is about to end... and i realized that this year was a year where i really waited and waited and waited..... it's an issue of trust... it's a requirement of hope... it's a need of faith...
i also need guidance... encouragement...
ok... so... these past 2 months have been quite eventful with parties and stuff... i saw a post of surf camp this july... i wanna try it out... maybe surfing would be a faith goal of mine.. haha
alright.. im gonna read now... | | |
| All my life i've been waiting and looking for the guy who would sweep me off my feat, who would give the world to me. How many times have i longed for someone who'd give me his attention, who'd be happy with just being in my company. A guy who would listen and know who i really am. Someone who would never get tired of me. A man of stature that i will look to and know in my heart that he has the strength to protect me. Someone who's love for me would grow stronger each day. Someone who'd know what i want and give it without asking. Someone who's sweet because he thinks I am worth it. Someone who never fails to ask how i am or where i'll be. Someone who i trust would not break my heart. Someone who will never get tired of me no matter how long we've been together. I have prayed for someone with unquestionable loyalty and patitnet to deal with my childish ways. My heart has been bruised and wounded by disappointments and the hope of finding such a person has faded. I wonder if all this has just been my fantasy. Sometimes i feel that i'll never be lovely or worthy enough to be loved by the man of my dreams. So many times i've guarded my heart just so i wouldn't feel the pain of hoping for something impossible. Then it dawned on me that this guy has been with me but i've neglected him in my quest for him. He was the one who put these desires in my heart because i've always felt and had this in him. The man of my dreams has been always there; constantly tapping me, hugging me, carrying my load, protecting my way, listenting to my dreams, getting to know me, showing patience towards me and removing the pain and callousness of my heart. He smiles at me and says "i've conquered you, but i will never stop pursuing you because your beauty grows each day." Indeed, my beauty grows because I am loved and the man of my dreams is not a fantasy... He lives in me... | | |
| i've been ms. self-pity for almost a month now, so much frustrations with people, feeling of not belonging and stuff... but it's over now, it takes so much renewing of the mind... i really actually felt what anakin felt hehe i so wanted to become darth vader... hahaha owel, psshhf why do people under-estimate what God can do in my life... it's like i don't even exist.. but anyway, i'll stop it that's the end of that... i'll just look to God... "so i look to You, no one else will do" | | |
| i hope my BAP paper turns out well... then am sure of getting my masters degree...
I'm so eager to work already... hehehe... maybe in an investment bank... or a market research company... I just want God to be the one to point clearly where i'm to work... its exciting when God orchestrates events so you'd fall in the right place...
starwars is on my birthday
my birthday wish list just for fun...
1. bmw 3 series hahahahahaha yeah.. sure
actually... i cant think of any... hmm.. lately, i realized how much i've changed, am no longer the i wanna buy this and that type na... in fact, sometimes i just feel content with what i have, i just want to put my money into good use...must be a sign of maturity or old age hahaha.. i guess one thing i ask really from God is for a new level of passion and to grow in character and integrity... hehe but hello.... for God everyday is my birthday naman... | | |
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