roks's Xanga

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Sat, 10 Dec 2005 13:35:34 GMT

ok...i haven't been blogging here for the longest time... mainly because i switched to multiply... and multiply is cool but... something is wrong with my internet at home, i cant seem to access multiply, it always returns with a page error...

so life has been really really confusing lately... im still in Gods waiting room and now am prancing and pouncing already desperate for answers... frustrated that it's taking longer than i expected... i'm in a place of uncertainty in terms of my career, ministry, family and some personal stuff... if you think of it there are a dozen of impossibilities that i really can't perceive how it will come to pass or how it's going to work out... one moment i think this is the new direction, the next minute i find out its not... arrgh.. so frustrating... Lord.... Lord.... please give me answers...

this year is about to end... and i realized that this year was a year where i really waited and waited and waited..... it's an issue of trust... it's a requirement of hope... it's a need of faith...

i also need guidance... encouragement...

ok... so... these past 2 months have been quite eventful with parties and stuff... i saw a post of surf camp this july... i wanna try it out... maybe surfing would be a faith goal of mine.. haha

alright.. im gonna read now...

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Tue, 21 Jun 2005 04:59:09 GMT

All my life i've been waiting and looking for the guy who would sweep me off my feat, who would give the world to me. How many times have i longed for someone who'd give me his attention, who'd be happy with just being in my company. A guy who would listen and know who i really am. Someone who would never get tired of me. A man of stature that i will look to and know in my heart that he has the strength to protect me. Someone who's love for me would grow stronger each day. Someone who'd know what i want and give it without asking. Someone who's sweet because he thinks I am worth it. Someone who never fails to ask how i am or where i'll be. Someone who i trust would not break my heart. Someone who will never get tired of me no matter how long we've been together. I have prayed for someone with unquestionable loyalty and patitnet to deal with my childish ways. My heart has been bruised and wounded by disappointments and the hope of finding such a person has faded. I wonder if all this has just been my fantasy. Sometimes i feel that i'll never be lovely or worthy enough to be loved by the man of my dreams. So many times i've guarded my heart just so i wouldn't feel the pain of hoping for something impossible. Then it dawned on me that this guy has been with me but i've neglected him in my quest for him. He was the one who put these desires in my heart because i've always felt and had this in him. The man of my dreams has been always there; constantly tapping me, hugging me, carrying my load, protecting my way, listenting to my dreams, getting to know me, showing patience towards me and removing the pain and callousness of my heart. He smiles at me and says "i've conquered you, but i will never stop pursuing you because your beauty grows each day." Indeed, my beauty grows because I am loved and the man of my dreams is not a fantasy... He lives in me...

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 10:32:38 GMT

I went to the seminar/concert of Reuben Morgan last sat. with emily, rina, kate, abby and ryan... it was awesome!! the great thing was that it wasn't a "show" but it was true worship! I learned a lot, about intimacy... i felt really refreshed it was like cool water poured out in a hot and humid day :) another thing that really blessed me is how reuben and hillsong's genuine compassion for our nation...he prayed for this nation... it was really really a blessing from God!

Here are a couple of pics... i was able to take some videos too! :)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 01:48:23 GMT

i've been ms. self-pity for almost a month now, so much frustrations with people, feeling of not belonging and stuff... but it's over now, it takes so much renewing of the mind... i really actually felt what anakin felt hehe i so wanted to become darth vader... hahaha owel, psshhf why do people under-estimate what God can do in my life... it's like i don't even exist.. but anyway, i'll stop it that's the end of that... i'll just look to God... "so i look to You, no one else will do"

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Wed, 11 May 2005 01:30:07 GMT

i hope my BAP paper turns out well... then am sure of getting my masters degree...

I'm so eager to work already... hehehe... maybe in an investment bank... or a market research company... I just want God to be the one to point clearly where i'm to work... its exciting when God orchestrates events so you'd fall in the right place...

starwars is on my birthday

my birthday wish list just for fun...

1. bmw 3 series hahahahahaha yeah.. sure

actually... i cant think of any... hmm.. lately, i realized how much i've changed, am no longer the i wanna buy this and that type na... in fact, sometimes i just feel content with what i have, i just want to put my money into good use...must be a sign of maturity or old age hahaha.. i guess one thing i ask really from God is for a new level of passion and to grow in character and integrity... hehe but hello.... for God everyday is my birthday naman...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Thu, 14 Apr 2005 09:45:26 GMT

i'm dizzy

i started swimming training yesterday, it felt really good... the trainer taught us how to swim without stressing out yourself... he's gonna give us a workout plan

ok i don't really know why i thought of doing this but here is what i like in a guy:
of course i want God's best but here are the qualities i like...

1. loves God so much
2. fears God
3. integrity
4. able to lead
5. loves his parents.. spends time with them
6. a gentleman
7. protective
8. someone who dresses like an executive (tie, suit)
9. buff haha i don't want fats (surfer or swimmer)
10. fixes his hair everday.. meaning neat hair
11. good in sports
12. speaks good english
13. polite
14. taller than me
15. someone who can spend time just talking, not someone who's restless or gets bored easily... you know the type that would be willing to go to the park with you instead of watching movies

hehehe well no... i don't want to get married yet... must be my dizzy state that led me to do this...

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 13:31:46 GMT

2 more months and i'm getting my master's degree... well, i do have to pass my proj mgmt exam and paper, my bus. stat exam and machine problem, my internship paper and my stm paper... wheeee.....

actually, ive been really bored lately.... my boss hasn't been calling so i'm doing all school stuff which i have to drag myself to do coz... you know the feeling that the finish line is almost there.. its the final stretch and you really don't want to move anymore but its so close.. well there...

i'm strating swimming training next week... i wanted rock climbing too... hehe.. and i wanna get back to ice hockey.. haha but seriously, i'm gonna swim and work out in the gym first...

am in the waiting room of God... and i get so restless but He just keeps on telling me... enjoy the wait...

i plan to work in a research and consulting firm when i graduate, i will try out adb also... let's see... actually, hubert and joanna is right God's will is there and we tend to complicate things

our leadership group has been move to mondays at 7am!! yey, so exciting!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 02:55:44 GMT

haven't been blogging coz i have my own personal blog at home! hahaha guess that's no longer a blog...

life is wonderful... full of ups and downs but downs is just a preparation for the great things God has in store!

i love God so much!!!!! soooooooo much!!!!!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 01:36:22 GMT

last night was fun...

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 10:23:11 GMT

2005

This is going to be a great year! My mind, heart and spirit agrees to this claim! Last year, i remember feeling that it was a time of rest and character molding. This year i know its going to be a fruitful year, a year where i will have to step out of my comfort zone. I'm so excited. I love You Lord more than life!